rapocalypse | (no subject)

Uh-huh. [ too bad he's not going anywhere sorry. instead he rests his chin on jake's shoulder and his arm across the back of the chair, clearly not intending to move at all. what now, jake?? ] You're a terrible liar.

[WHY IS HE SO CLOSE.AFDFLJKHLDH TWITCHES] Would you please unhand me?

[ yeah he's not going anywhere sorry jake. with a head gesture towards the screen: ] This a new business venture you're looking to persue?

We are not having this conversation, please vacate the premises immediately. [STANDING STIFF AND JUST...trying not to look at that screen where there are dicks going into asses. over and over.]

[ he stands there for a minute, still draped across the chair. it's more fun when jake gets all flustered. the flushed tone looks good on him. the rigid, defensive stance just feels awkward to press. he stares at the screen for a little longer, tracing the silhouettes of firm, pornstar asses. nice. ] Alright.

[so flustered. now this is awkward. what does he say? aldfjkladfjhfdh sits there in awkward tense silence with a boner that is only half gone.]

[ yeah they both know he won't drop it. ] You never deigned my question with a verbal acknowledgement.

W-What question, might I ask? [he wants to die. right here and right now. forget his dream of one day finding a girl of cerulean complexion. this is the end of his life.]

Is this a new business venture you're looking to pursue. You'd be interested in fucking a bro.

T-That is not something one just asks another, S-Strider! [he is clearly so flustered...practically trembling with the effort not to bolt 8|]

[ jesus christ jake you're not making it easy for the guy trying to proposition you. ] Now you've got issues with social graces? My unsuspecting retina were thrown into a market of debauchery and neon cocks oiled up and ready to pilfer the innocent without so much as a warning.

T-that was entirely an accident! A terribly timed incident, nothing else. By no means was it meant to be seen by you.

[ fuck ] Ease up, I believe you.

Ah, good, I am filled with relief. Now, if you please... [awkward...hand wave thing.]

[ fine. he'll just strut back across the room to do whatever it was he was doing before. fucking around building a robot hand or something.

only he still isn't going to shut up sorry. ]

All you'd have to do is ask. The chance of me saying no is infinitesimally microscopic. Just so you're aware.

[managing to get shit closed...somehow...most of it anyways.]

...

[wait, what did he just...]

Pardon?

[ can't hear you sorry he's making a masturbatebot ]

Must be getting hard of hearing in your old age.

[turns to him

opens his mouth...

turns back to computer] I ust not have heard you right. Apologies.

I guarantee you heard me fine.

[turns back to him] Is it preposterous of me to wonder if that was an offer? Theoretically.

[ really, jake? come on, that was so obviously an offer. he's too busy with his whatever i said he was doing to answer sorry. that or he won't say it again because this is jake and he might be fucking something up by even insinuating it. ]

...Strider? [nervous...questioning...COME ON SAY SOMETHING]

Theoretically, it was an offer.

[stares...at him...] What if I...theoritically, of course... [trails off...no he can't say it fuck it]

[ spit it out dude he hasn't got all day.

hahaha no who are we kidding he'd stay there for eternity if it meant there was even a slim chance of getting a yes. ]